Tim Pawlenty ‘Didn’t Expect’ the Vice-Presidential Nomination, Anyway

As you are now very well aware, former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty is no longer a potential vice-president, because Mitt Romney decided to go with "not totally boring" when it came to his running mate. (The same thing happened back in 2008, when John McCain chose Sarah Palin over Pawlenty.) Anyway, the Vanilla Thrilla isn't bitta (though he does sound a little sad, or resigned to a life of relative obscurity, or something.) "I'm not disappointed," he said on ABC's This Week. "I didn't get something I didn't expect."

Also, because even the Paul Ryan announcement cannot completely overshadow the subject of tax returns, Pawlenty revealed that he'd submitted "a bunch" of them to the Romney campaign during the vetting process, though he claimed not to remember "the exact number of years."

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Obama Really Didn’t Mean to Imply People Faint Because of His Greatness

At an event in Ohio today, someone fainted while President Obama was speaking, and he handled it with poise. "I'm sure they're okay. Sometimes folks faint because they've been standing too long," he said, and he would know, having spoken for millions of people, thousands of times, all around the world. "So we just need a paramedic right here in the front. They'll be okay, just give them room. That's all."

But then he added, "This happens to me all the time," to a laugh from the crowd, and you can literally see the panic wash over his face as he realizes he's said something that can be misinterpreted or taken out of context. After a brief pause, the president — thinking on his feet — threw in some self-deprecation: "It means I've been talking too long," he added. Good save! Now he's definitely safe.

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Harry Reid Heard From Some Guy That Mitt Romney Didn’t Pay Taxes for Ten Years

Did Harry Reid steal the Lindbergh baby? We are not certain.

What's Mitt Romney hiding in his tax returns? Harry Reid finally figured it out:

Saying he had "no problem with somebody being really, really wealthy," Reid sat up in his chair a bit before stirring the pot further. A month or so ago, he said, a person who had invested with Bain Capital called his office.

"Harry, he didn't pay any taxes for 10 years," Reid recounted the person as saying.

"He didn't pay taxes for 10 years! Now, do I know that that's true? Well, I'm not certain," said Reid.

Oh, wait, did we say "figured it out"? We meant "heard an insane rumor from a guy who has seemingly no way of knowing anything about Mitt Romney's taxes." Awesome scoop, Harry Reid.

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